Glass of milk

Somebody left half a glass of milk next to the keyboard. The reaction?

Optimist: The glass is half full.

Pessimist: The glass is half empty.

Futurist: The milk's in the wrong half of the glass.

Pascal programmers: Well, what type of milk is it?

C programmers: No thanks, I drink straight from the jug.

Assembly programmers: No thanks, I drink straight from the cow.

Basic programmers: No thanks, I'm still nursing.

MIS: I'll drink it if you can give me until next year.

Fuzzy logic guys: I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk.

Prolog programmers: I know I drank it-- just don't ask me how.

Non-procedural language programmers: I drank it when nobody was looking.

UI designers: What's that crap in my glass?

Pentium users: I drank Glass * 4.99999... but don't hold me to that.

Windows users: Where's my straw?

Mac users: Where's my pump?

UNIX users: Nah.. too easy.

Shareware game author: That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for.

Security consultant: Where'd the rest of the milk go?

CIA: What makes you think that's milk?

NSA: We know what that really is.

Copy protection crazies: Somebody drank half my milk and didn't pay for it!

Free Software Foundation: That milk is the cow's contribution to all mankind.

Schroedinger: That damned cat got into the milk again!

Bill Gates: Not enough market share to be Microsoft Milk.

Apple Computer: You guys really oughta be drinking Perrier.

IBM: Rent this glass from us and we'll fill it with something we know is good for you.

IRS: Thanks for getting your milk withholding correct this year.